Letters to My Granny

Waybill                                                                                                     Date : 17/01/2014

Description of Goods   Quantity   Method of delivery  Priority   Weight           Cost


Perfect little boy               1                 Stork                Top      3.045kg          Priceless


My Dear Gran

When I'm thinking, I close my eyes in order to visualise the projects that I'm working on.

At the moment, I am hiring staff. The problem is finding the right ones.

So far, my personal assistant, is brilliant. She serves my meals on time, at the correct temperature, and deals with my acid reflux efficiently. She lays out my business suits and makes sure that they are super spotless.

I have been convening at quite a few business meetings at the conference centre, that was recommended to me by my personal assistant.

Discussions are taking place, as to when I will take up my new position at the game lodge. It is a great opportunity at my age, as I will be running the show completely.

My right hand man/chauffeur/butler/valet/secretary will take notes, which my personal assistant will transcribe.

The company is paying for everything, my move there, as well as my private suite, together with the decor and furniture chosen according to my specific needs and tastes. Drink and food is inclusive, and as I would like to further my studies, the company has agreed to foot the bill.  They have literally made me an offer that I cannot refuse.

The contract lasts for at least 18 years, and may be extended to include further education and travel to distant lands.

I do have future business meetings planned in the UK, and several business colleagues have extended an invitation for me to stay at their five star establishments.

So, Gran, I will be the head honcho, and everyone will answer to me.

Of course, my staff have been head hunted, and hand picked from the best that there is on offer out there. They are at my beck and call 24/7, but I reward them well for this loyalty, and they have numerous perks.

I shall sometimes expect parties or meetings to be held in my suite at 3 am, which is the time that I am at my best. Naturally my personal assistant will attend to the refreshments.

Word has come to me via the grapevine, that my chauffeur intends moonlighting when he is not required by me. As he is invaluable to me, I shall keep him on, but it may be necessary to reduce his income.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that medical aid is included. I won't be paying for a thing. Hotels, air fares etc, will also come out of company expenses.

What do you think of this news Gran? I shall keep you posted as to further developments.

With love from your Grandson,

Little James.
Aged 2 days and 2 hours.